It was one of those nights where you allow yourself to have some drinks and start feeling relaxed, perhaps a little tipsy… enjoying your favorite album and some great songs… feeling it without questioning it. Letting things be just the way they are.
You see and you think of people you love, you think of everything you are and what you’re yet to become, it’s lovely, it’s all good. Whenever I feel in a different state of mind than my usual I just write my thoughts as they come, pure, without corrections, no thinking it through… just raw thinking.
—– I wrote this on a clean napkin by the way. (Such a big win)
Friday, July 28th 2017 — 1:00 am.
As strong as it is my desire to avoid it, I can’t. I can’t fight the misery and mostly the pain that I often feel. I wanna be completely free but somehow there’s a part of me that wants it to stay so bad ’cause I can’t deny life could be boring without it… It hurts, it always will.
Loneliness is my strongest company, nights seem fearful but I act it up fearless. There’s no you, there’s no me, it’s all surreal. I feel everything so very deeply and I doubt everybody else can feel the way I do. I’ll pour my heart out to everything I believe in.
It’s all golden baby, you just gotta open your eyes and feel it right.
I’ll let it all come the way it does ’cause I’m so done fighting, there’ll be nothing but peaceful acceptance of reality.
All they say it’s true, it is important to let your loved ones fly free just like birds on a July summer sunset sky. It all burns out so fast.
Facing one of my deepest fears… to exist and not to be seen, screaming and not being heard… it’s up to you baby, it’s up to me.
Life is like a strangely composed palette full of beautiful colors with some shades of sadness.
—- This thoughts were random, it’s not supposed to make sense.
In honor of my lover… P. xx