“I’ll start again tomorrow” I repeat to myself over and over again,
I’ve done it for the last 5 years…
hoping something will change or perhaps I’ll finally be saved from my own self. I wonder how many times does it take making the same mistake to finally make it right? It doesn’t feel like a mistake anymore, it has turned to a habit.
I’m just staring at the straight line where I’m able to see what appears to be the end of the ocean. I see the clouds, the light, it’s all so calm, even the waves… everything on my sight radiates peace today. It gives me tranquility. As I keep staring I notice how the colors change and I love it. I like the fact that everything moves forward, nothing stays the same. Nature has given me the ultimate source of hope.
I look back on my life and notice how far I am now. How I stopped living in the future and how I know now that what matters is the present.
I tend to go back to my past and remind myself of all the motives I’ve had to feel this constant pain.
It’s okay to repeat the same things over and over again, someday we’ll find the way that works best for us, the way that will change our perspective and fade away all the ugly feelings. We just need to keep in mind that in order to have different results we need to do different things. Change is good, don’t be afraid. It all will give you pain, changing is painful but there’s nothing more painful that being stuck in the same place.