Blurry in the dark

Whenever I feel lost and spiral down to sadness or a “clinical depression” that is over my control, I try to find my way to heal through love.

I was on my way to school very early in the morning, I was sleepy, it was dark and all I could see were the pretty lights dancing through my eyes while cars moved them. I started to think of life, and came to the conclusion that there’s so much strength within me.

I haven’t had an easy life and I know most of the people haven’t either. We all go through situations that mark us and change us in ways we cannot imagine. But, even after ALL that, I’ve learned to be positive.
*** it doesn’t count when I am depressed ’cause I cannot control my own thoughts and let me clarify something, depression does NOT define you. It controls you and posses you. What you go through, what you feel, what you think and what you say at those times is not the real you. It’s as if you were wearing a mask, or more like living in another dimension far far apart from others… as if everything you saw was in a very low saturated filter full of blur.

I have tried making people understand certain things others go through even if they are in a very different situation but now I know, you cannot make people understand something they aren’t ready to understand. And just because your path is different it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. People nowadays are far away from what truly matters, they forget to see beauty in places and in people, getting blind without losing their vision, lost in darkness where kindness cannot be found. I have felt many things in my life, all sort of emotions and desires. I can proudly say I’ve been through hell and that’s exactly why I choose seeing beauty.

Whenever I recover I choose love and learn to appreciate life, but mostly, I understand I cannot go through life judging any other being (there’s no exception) ’cause even though I think I “know them”, I truly don’t. No one ever knows how others feel and what they’ve experienced. The world is a tough place already to make it worse. No one deserves that, don’t be that person.

And, if trying to appreciate things when no one else does, or believing in kindness in order to make the world better makes me stupid or ignorant? I am and I am fucking proud of it.

— love.

Be the person you wanna be.

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